March 22, 2017, Updated Story (1750)

Each week across Canada dozens of domestic violence cases are reported. While the definition of domestic violence varies, it often involves a pattern of behavior where someone desires to establish power and control over another family member through physical, psychological, emotional, verbal, sexual, and/or economic abuse. The cases often remain hidden as abuse usually occurs behind closed doors with victims reluctant or not capable (e.g. a child)) of coming forward.

Police officers, health-care and social service workers are often among the first to intervene. In follow-up investigations, it usually emerges that other family members and friends were aware of what was happening, but were hesitant to become involved. The challenge for everyone is finding the ways and means to effectively intervene to protect an adult or child from what might be ongoing abuse.

As for the background causes, fingers are often pointed at families struggling to make ends meet or at cultural or religious practices, they suggest, produce the abuse.  My experience suggests the socio-economic and cultural backgrounds are as varied as is the make-up of our society. In the context of the cases outlined below, a skilled professional manipulates the minds of his wife and child in a manner that satisfies his need for control.

Tabula Rasa (Merriam-Webster): 

English speakers have called that initial state of mental blankness tabula rasa (a term taken from a Latin phrase that translates as “smooth or erased tablet”) since the 16th century, but it wasn’t until British philosopher John Locke championed the concept in his Essay Concerning Human Understanding in 1690 that the term gained widespread popularity in our language. In later years, a figurative sense of the term emerged, referring to something that exists in its original state and that has yet to be altered by outside forces.

Introduction

While watching a 1999 rerun of a Law and Order¹ episode by the above title², it struck me how the theme, minus the murder, paralleled an Oak Bay case in which I became involved 40 years earlier.

In the TV episode, the husband, a psychiatrist, had taken his two young daughters and disappeared from his wife, the girl’s mother. The man assumed a new identity for himself and the girls, then remarried. His first (legal) wife spent years searching for her children.

Fifteen years later, with the girls now in their late teens, a University Professor, who knew the couple in the early days and maintained contact with the first wife, recognized the woman’s former husband at a subway stop.  On realizing the woman might well tell his first wife, the man pushed the woman in front of an oncoming train and she was killed.  The follow-up investigation led to the man, but one of his daughters maintained it was she who had murdered the woman.

As the story unfolded in the courtroom, it became chillingly clear that both daughters and the second wife were being held under the absolute control of the husband – they were not allowed to think for themselves, nor perform a single action without first having his approval.  While the Oak Bay case was not as extreme as the TV episode, the psychological principles were precisely the same.

The Oak Bay Case

While working day shift in the Detective Office, two University of Victoria students arrived with a story to tell. They believed a twenty-year-old female friend, a classmate at University, was being mentally, and possibly physically abused by her over-controlling father. During their time in class, they learned the father was a highly skilled professional practicing in the field of psychology or psychiatry.  According to the students, every movement the girl made (who she was allowed to visit, where she went, what time she had to be home, what she studied at University, etc.) were scripted by her father. The girl always acquiesced as she felt there was no option.  The friends also felt the man’s wife was similarly controlled.

(2286)

To receive regular notifcations of new posts, link to the
McNeill Life Stories Facebook page and click Like.

LINK HERE

Lynn and I have been to many parades in the Greater Victoria area over the years. but never to Sidney. This year we made the trip with Linda and Bjorn, as Bjorn was in the parade along with other seafaring sorts confidently sailing the Son’s of Norway club ship  down Beacon Avenue.

(1216)

To receive regular notifcations of new posts, link to the
McNeill Life Stories Facebook page and click Like.
LINK HERE

An Amazing Coincidence

Following is an observation for the math guru’s among you.

While completing the Black Friday story, I first met P/O Bert Ramsden who, in the 404 Squadron photo, is standing immediately below and to the right of the nose cone V3 painted on the Beaufighter. No big deal, he just picked a place to stand and there he stood very near the symmetrical centre of the photo, a modest 1 in 59 chance of occupying that position.

Later, while researching the article, the name of one other member of the squadron air crew still living was found to be P/O Miller Bryce. It was not until I was highlighting names in the photo I discovered P/O Bryce was standing just below and to the left of the V3, shoulder to shoulder with P/O Ramsden.

Now there is nothing unusual about just two members being left alive as that was bound to happen at some point. However, that the final two living members of the 59 members in that squadron photo were randomly standing side by side seemed highly coincidental. This will be further discussed later.

In an email exchange with Don Flynn, the son of P/O Pat Flynn, I was told I had missed his dad’s name on the photo name list. He told me his father was sitting directly above Ramsden and Bryce on the nosecone above the V3. Sure enough, I had accidentally missed the name the first time around. Now, of the three members coming to my attention, all are sitting or standing in a symmetrical position around the V₃ nosecone!

Photo: Cropped section of the Squadron photo displayed in the introduction.  Link here to the full Squadron Photo. (Lead photo in the Black Friday Story)

During the Black Friday Ceremony held in 2008, in Naustdal, Norway, the two living members (and their families) along with the family of one deceased member, were represented.  Of course, the two living members were P/O Ramsden and P/O Bryce.  The third, represented by his wife and son, was, take a guess, P/O Flynn, the man who completed the Beaufighter nosecone triangle.

(810)

To receive regular notifcations of new posts, link to the
McNeill Life Stories Facebook page and click Like.

LINK HERE

March 2012 Posts

March 17, 2012   Rogers Communications: Deceptive Business Practice

Rogers is a big company, do they need to stoop to such
shoddy business practices?

Call Centre in Ohio

May 1, 2012 UPDATE: I spoke to a Rogers Outlet representative I know and he confirmed the following marketing practice is commonplace…

March 17, 2012 Comment

A few days back I was nearly caught short during a Rogers Communications Customer Satisfaction Survey being conducted by a Call Centre in Ohio. Although I don’t usually take these calls near dinner, I was in a bubbly mood so decided to let the woman ask away.

After a few questions about my degree of satisfaction with Rogers, she went on to ask if it was OK to check and see if any savings could be found in our account. Why not? She then spent considerable time (20 minutes or so) and I was feeling bad for taking up so much of her time trying to find so little in savings. She stated: “no problem, Rogers is here to provide you with the best service we can” or words to that effect. 

(2015)

Above: Artists depiction of Beaufighters from the Australian 455 Squadron attacking German Ships in a Norwegian Fjord.
Along with the Australians, the RCAF (Royal Canadian) Squdron 404 (pictured below), RNZAF (Royal New Zealand), Squadron 489 and RAF (English) Squadron 144,
took part in one the the largest Air Battles to ever take place in the skies over Norway. Bert Ramsden was part of battle.

In Memory of Bert Ramsden
1921 – 2014

November 3, 2014
Pilot Officer Bert Ramsden, the subject of this story, passed away peacefully at his home in Saanich, British Columbia. The young man who fought in the Second World War shall not be forgotten.

At the age of 93, Bert joins his beloved wife, Marie who predeceased him in 2004, as well as parents, Joseph and Mercy and brothers, Cal (Eleanor) and Cec (Bess).  Born in Castor, Alta., Bert is survived by his son, Don (Nancy); daughter, Karen (Chip); grandchildren, Andrea (Chris), Jennie (Trevor), Jon, Jamie and Jeff and great-grandchild, Zachary.

A memorial service will be held at 1:00 pm on Friday, November 14, 2014  at
St. Aidan’s United Church, 3703 St. Aidan’s Street in Victoria.  

Below, Pilot Officer Bert Ramsden ties his shoe on the tire of his Beaufighter.

The following story was written after several interviews with Bert first at his home in Saanich and then at various coffee shops along Shelbourne Street during May and June 2014.  At 91, Bert was ever the affable pilot officer who was still more than able to charm the young women at our various coffee stops along the way.

The photos in this post and in the attached photo album were copied mainly from Bert’s personal files and from various Web Sites that carried information about Black Friday.  During the period of research and writing, an amazing coincidence became apparent. This coincidence was written up in a separate post that may be linked below the names of those show in the photo below.

Bert was one of the thousands of young men who left their homes, families, farms, businesses and careers to join the Second World War effort in Europe and other parts of the world.  While Bert returned home without injury, many of his comrades in arms were not so lucky and it is on November 11, each year that we celebrate these young men and the sacrifice they made to make our world a better place.  While I say that Bert returned without injury, it is clear he still carried with him, even at the age of 91, a degree of guilt that he walked away when so many of his flying comrades died in the battles in the skies above Norway and elsewhere.

We shall remember Bert.

Harold McNeill
November 9, 2014
Victoria, B.C.

Pilot Officer Bert Ramsden and the Flying 404

RCAF Squadron 404 (Circa Spring, 1945, Banff, Scotland)

Ramsden Photo Files: RCAF 404 Squadron, Bert Ramsden is standing
immediately below and to the right of the “V₃“.

A high-resolution copy of this photo, in which all the faces and printing is clear, can be obtained by leaving a note on this posting or by sending an email to harold@mcneillifestories.com
(double click to open in a larger size)

Top Row on Wings
F/L Stewart (standing), F/O Bondy, P/O Wade, P/O Michael (standing centre), P/O Flynn (below Michael), F/L Foord (standing), F/O Nelson (front of Foord), F/O Gibbard, W/O Gracie, F/O Catrand.

Second Row Down (immediately below wing L/R)
F/S Aube(y), F/S Orser, F/O Mallilieu, F/O Williams, F/Lt Hill, F/O Cook, F/O Burns, P/O Bryce, P/O Ramsden, P/O Elliot, F/O Jones, F/O Bedwell, P/O Wright, P/O Camanella

Second Row Below Wing
F/S Henderson, F/Lt Ball, P/O Landry, F/O Aljoe, F/O Coyne, F/O Tomes, F/Lt Rancourt,
F/L Toon(e), F/Lt Jackson, F/O McKnight, P/O Temple, F/O Lee, F/O Johnson, F/O McCallan,
P/O Moe, F/O Stansak, F/O Miller, F/O Jasper.

Bottom Row (L to R)
F/O Panuk, not named, F/Lt Wilkinson, F/Lt Hill, Capt Chodoroff, S/Ld Inman, F/Lt Bolli, S/L Schoales,
W/C Pierce, S/L Christison, S/L Jones, F/L Watlington, F/L Beacook, F/L Spencer, F/L Corder
F/O Hines, F/O Keele

Missing from Photo
F/O Elbury, P/O Wallace, W/O Rumble (P/O Ramsden’s Navigator)

For an Amazing Coincidence regarding placements in the above photo
LINK HERE

To view the full set of photos of events surrounding this story:
Link here to McNeill Life Stories Facebook Page

A Pittance of Time (For Video Link Here)

Black Friday: An Epic Air Battle of World War II

(12520)

Below: Arbutus Singers Performing at
First Metropolitan United Church

June, 2012: Photos of Arbutus Singers courtesy of Nadine Schaddelee

December 5, 2012 Another stellar performance by the Arbutus Singers, this time a return engagement at St. Aiden’s Church. Jack Boomer, the Musical Director, is always at his best, not only as he lead the choir, but also with his easy going manner as he engaged the capacity crowd of 400.

As promised to the neighborly folks with whom we shared front and centre seats, the following photographs have been added. A few words about the Choir and last springs presentation follows below. 

(646)

These properties are now sold

Link Here for Details  of an additional 96 acres that will be placed on the market been placed on the market as of October 20, 2018

More Cold Lake Posts: For additional historical posts about the Cold Lake Area, go to Homepage Categories and link any any of the categories titled Adventure (for Big Kinosoo, etc), Family Stories 1940 – 1960 (Martineau River, Marie Lake, North Bay, Mink Ranching, etc.), Biography (McNeill and Skarsen families), or Fire Department (History of the US Air Force Base at CFB Cold Lake)  for short stories about life in and around the Cold Lake area during the 1940s to the present day).

View of lot looking West from 13th Street. A temporary fence was
constructed well back from the front property line between 511 (left) and 507 (right), 13th Street.
A temporary 6′ X 8′ wooden garden shed sits on the rear of the property.
(Property Photos courtesy of Stephanie Yochim)

Details of City Lot

509 13th Street,
Cold Lake, Alberta

Legal
Plan 1024203
Block 14
Lot 6A

The subject lot is located in a quiet residential neighbourhood just minutes walking distance from the:

Cold Lake Marina: two blocks East and one block South (waterfront picture in the footer);
Kinosoo Beach: half block West and two blocks North
Heritage Lakeside Trail: two blocks East (the trail runs along the waterfront from the Cold Lake Marina to Kinosoo Beach)
Bibeau Children’s Park: one block East (off 5th or 6th Avenue)

This vacant lot is one of the few remaining properties in the central core of the very popular Lakeside City North. For a full street map and list of vacant lots in Cold Lake North: Link Here, then open “Vacant Lots, Cold Lake North, 2011”.

For Provincial and general area maps as well as additional photos of the City of Cold Lake and area (as footers in acreage description): Link Here.

The subject property is gently sloping back from the roadway and is in an area of well-kept homes and properties.  Two intersecting alley’s at the rear of the property make this lot ideal for the building of a garage and/or pad to accommodate a motor home, other recreational vehicles, boat or a shop. The lot is serviced along 13th Street.

At 43.28 meters long and 14.76 meters wide, the lot is average size for the area and larger than many recently developed lots in other areas of the city.

For details on submitting written Expressions of Interest contact the Executor by email at:   harold@mcneillifestories.com.

Canadian Telephone: 250-889-1033 (Victoria, British Columbia, Canada)

The Expression of Interest is not a binding agreement on either party and is intended only to open dialogue regarding development opportunities and a possible sale/purchase agreement.

Agent contact invited.

Harold McNeill
Estate Executor

Lot Views and Maps

View of back of lot looking North East over the fence from the South property line.

Map #1: General Area. The property is located about halfway down
13th Street, between 5th and 6th Avenue (see also, Map #2)

Map #2: Sectional from above map
(Lot yellow, red street and alley)

Cold Lake Advert Poster

Cold Lake waterfront and the downtown core

(1321)

Adventures Index

This section covers a wide variety of stories.  The sections will divided according to type (e.g. Big Kinosoo, Family Events, etc.).  At the top of the page will appear links to the three most recent posts.  Where appropriate, posts in a section will be linked together so the reader can skip directly from one to the next or back to the index.

—————————————————————————————————————————

Most Recent Posts

Big Kinosoo: Growing the Legend (November 2014):  The object this introduction is ways to help the Big Kinosoo Legend grow in stature by whatever means necessary.  Anecdotes, photographs, cover-us, conspiracies – they are all fair game.   Link to Big Kinosoo: Growing the Legend

RAWthentic Eatery: Royal Oak  (April 2014):   It is always a pleasure to promote local businesses who seek to provide the best in food.  While I am not always so disciplined as to stay away from other fast food, I do my best.  Link to RAWthentic

Victoria Morioka Friendship Society: A Visit to Victoria:  (February, 2014).  While meeting and greeting many friends we have made in Japan, a highlight of the visit was several concerts presented by Miss Misaki Usuzawa, winner the Japanese New Singer of the Year Contest in 2012. Miss Usuzawa was one of those whose family was hit by the 2011 Tsunami.  Link to Victoria Morioka Society

McNeill Solutions and Seaside Magazine (February 2014)  Sean McNeill has now been operating his new company for just over two years. His business, E-Marketing and Web Presence.   Link to the Seaside Article

—————————————————————————————————————————

(535)