Thinkin’ Man’s Country Song
Lego For the Oil Patch
Following a series of exchanges with a Facebook friend concerning gender equality, I happened upon this little song written by Thomas Wharton. Born in Grand Prairie, the young man studied both at the University of Alberta and the University of Calgary where he achieved his Phd. He is currently an Associate Professor of writing and English at the University of Alberta in Edmonton.
An author with several books to this credit, he wrote the following lyrics about the changing attitudes of oil patch man and published in the most recent edition of Albertaviews (page 27). I can’t find a link to magazine article so I typed it below. I think the song speaks well to the changing’ attitude towards woman in that province, a province which is becoming more Liberal with each passing day.
Albertaviews you might ask! My god, what business does a wishy washer, BC socialist, do-gooder think he’s up to by reading an Alberta magazine? Has he totally lost his mind or has he, perhaps, finally achieved a more realistic (conservative) view of the world? Well, perhaps the first, but certainly not the second.
As for Albertaviews, I just happened upon that little gem by chance some months back as it certainly attempts to bring some balance to the table on any number of important issues that swirl around Alberta and Canada. As you know, it’s hard to find a balance in discussions when it comes to a Province that has carried the Conservative banner longer than most of us have been alive. Ah, that’s progress.
If Albertaviews can survive in that climate (not the weather), there must certainly be a glimmer of hope for the rest of us.
Anyway, back to gender equality in Alberta with a Thinkin’ Man’s Country Song.
Well, I got my pick up truck and a 24 o’beer
I know a dirt road that’ll take us far from here
If you thought it was those skin-tight jeans
That brought me to your door
Think again, little honey, it’s your brain that I adore
Evolution was showin’ off when it made you
You’re my Susan Sontag with a dash of Atwood too
It’s as hot as hell the way you know your Keirkegaard
You get my frontal cortex all alert and working’ hard
(Chorus)
Well, get you lips, lips, over here, hottie
Whisper me those quips, quips, little smartie
Don’t shake those hips, hips, cause that body
is just fine but it’s your mind
that drives me crazy
Well there you go with your autographed Munro
Drivin’ all night with Mahler on the stereo
What colour are your eyes, well baby I don’t know
Tonight all that matters is your intelligence quo
Wo Wo
(Spoken lead-up to Chorus)
Thinkin’ turned up to eleven
Have your read The Lathe of Heaven?
Ira Glass is on at seven
(Slightly revised course)
Well, get your cerebrum over here, hottie
Wanna hear your quips, quips, little smartie
Don’t shake those hips, hips, cause that body
is just fine but it’s your mind
that drives me crazy
(Free verse)
Really it’s all so messed up, isn’t it,
still fuellin’ up the big ass truck
in the shadow of climate apocalypse
No, you’re right, McLuhan is more relevant than ever.
Honestly, I ‘m not really sure what post-human means
either
(banjo break)
Ding, dang diddle diddle
Ding dang diddle diddle, etc
(Husky-voiced spoken word as the banjo fades)
My entire library is at your disposal…
Getting’ ready to quote Oscar Wilde…
Sippin’ absinthe and recitin’ Rilke in the moonlight…
(repeat course ad infinitum as though trapped in Dante’s
Purgatory)
WELL a guy can’t become more engaged than that. In my day (and my song library) it was “Oh, Lord it’s Hard to Humble when your perfect in every way.” Ah, that song along with my trusty guitar, set so many hearts a’flutter.
Harold
(418)
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