Attitude, Attitude, Attitude 2/4

Written by Harold McNeill on January 22nd, 2012. Posted in Police Notebook


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Domestic Disputes: These disputes can be among the most difficult and dangerous calls to attend.

Note: This is Part 2 of the series.  Go to Different Strokes for Part 1

Introduction

The Saanich PD Constable stood in the living room of a Cadboro Bay residence facing down two angry people. It was evident by his words and actions that this meeting was not likely to have a happy ending. Meanwhile, his Sergeant was sitting, watching and waiting as chaos slowly enveloped the scene.

There was obviously more to the Sergeant’s inaction than I could at first discern. As I had just arrived on the scene as a back-up, it would take a few minutes to understand why the Sergeant was waiting and watching. We struck up a conversation and both watched through the picture window facing the street.

The reason I was here, is that with three borders (Oak Bay, Saanich, and Victoria) we always covered for each other on such calls as we all knew officers could end up at the scene alone. As our radio systems were on the same channel, we always knew what was going on in each others territory.

The Call

When I arrived, two Saanich police cars were parked on the street with the Saanich Sergeant quietly sitting in his unit. The engine was off and he was having a cigarette as I walked to the driver’s door. I didn’t even have to ask if they needed help as that was obvious. Through the picture window of a house across the street, we could see the another Saanich officer, (he had arrived before the Sergeant) who was standing in the living room facing down a man and woman who were in the midst of a heated argument.

The Sergeant told me: “Just watch this. I have worked with this man for several months and he simply doesn’t understand that the reason he becomes involved in so many confrontations, is related to his attitude.” As we continued to watch the man and woman continued to argue as if the Constable was not even in the room.  As soon as the officer started to speak, his hand gestures and pointing fingers suggested he was angry and was lecturing the couple.

Slowly the man, then the woman, turned their attention toward the officer and as the officer continued, their anger slowly shifted from each other to the officer. He, in turn, responded in kind.  As the woman became more animated, she lightly pushed the officer on the chest with her finger. That was clearly the wrong move lady.

At first the man tried to pull his wife back, but clearly, the officer was not going to stop short of dragging the woman out of the house under arrest for assault. The husband now turned his full attention to the officer and all three began to wrestle. As they fell to the floor, they disappeared from view.

The Sergeant climbed out of his car and as he walked to the front door stated: “Just give me a minute I better go sort this out before someone gets hurt.”  He was not in the house more than a minute or two and everyone was again standing. The scene calmed as the Sergeant remained between the Constable and the two residents. As the Sergeant continued to speak, the couple continued to nod. The Sergeant then turned to the Constable, said something, and the Constable left the house.

When the Constable came down beside me, he was obviously still very angry and still wanted to arrest one or both of the residents and that surely would have followed had he been left in charge. A few minutes later we could see the Sergeant shaking hands with the couple. He then departed the house.  The couple watched through the window as the Sergeant walked back to his police car.

Nothing further was mentioned, but it was clear the Sergeant was going to take the Constable aside and try to explain to him how he might want to change his attitude. While not every family dispute ends in this manner, it was clear the Sergeant had developed a good basic understanding of human behaviour and knew how to diffuse a potentially volatile situation. It was indeed a lucky group of Constables who had this man as their Patrol Sergeant.  The three of us chatted for a few minutes, the Constable slowly settled down and we departed on our routine patrols.

Link here to Part 3 Please Send a Police Car

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  • Harold McNeill

    October 10, 2024 |

    Comments are reduced to 15 words.

  • Mike Fedorowich

    September 1, 2023 |

    I have gone through the above noted text and have found it quite informative.
    I am a former member with several law enforcement agencies from across Canada.
    I worked in the First Nations service under the authority of the RCMP with the over sight of the OPP. My law enforcement service was conducted under the authority of the Nishnawbe – Aski Police Service in North West Ontario the Louis Bull Police Sevice in Hobbema AB, the Kitasoo Xaixais Police Service in Northern in side passage on Swindle Island, the Lac Suel Police Service North West Ontario and the Vancouver Transit Authority Sky Train Police Service. I’m presently dealing with an RCMP member for falsifying a report against me for a road rage event. Court case is finished and the charge was dropped but I have an on going complaint with the member and have forwarded to the WATCH DOGS IN OTTAWA FOR the RCMP review and consideration. I believe the said officer is in violation of his oath of office and should be held accountable for falsifying his RTCC all the while dragging me through the court system here in Nanaimo. RCMP continue to stonewall the appeal but Ottawa and the crowns office are still looking into the matter. if your able and find the time or the interest in this very brief introduction, I would very much like to speak with you and would be grateful to hear any wisdom that may come across from your end. I served with First Nations Police Services for ten years in isolation and six years with Transit Police out of New West Minster. I do value and appreciate any time you could spare to chat for a bit on this particular subject matter. Respectfully with out anger but an open mind, Mike Fedorowich Nanaimo BC 250 667 0060

  • Harold McNeill

    February 28, 2022 |

    Hi Robert, I do remember some of those folks from my early years in Cold Lake (Hazel was my aunt and our family spent many fond times with Uncle Melvin, Aunt Hazel and Family. I knew Lawrence and Adrian. Having read a half dozen accounts it is clear their were many false narratives and, perhaps, a few truths along the way. I tried my best to provide an even account from what I read. Cheers, Harold. (email: Harold@mcneillifestories.com)

  • Robert Martineau

    February 25, 2022 |

    Its been a long time since any post here, but its worth a shot. My Grandfather was Hazel Wheelers brother Lawrence, and son to Maggie and Adrien. Maggie Martineau (nee Delaney) is my great grandmother. The books and articles to date are based on the white mans viewpoint and the real story as passed down by the Elders in my family is much more nefarious. Some of the white men were providing food for the Indians in exchange for sexual favors performed by the Squaws. Maggie was the product of one of those encounters. Although I am extremely proud of my family and family name, I am ashamed about this part of it.

  • Julue

    January 28, 2022 |

    Good morning Harold!
    Gosh darn it, you are such a good writer. I hope you have been writing a book about your life. It could be turned into a movie.
    Thanks for this edition to your blog.
    I pray that Canadians will keep their cool this weekend and next week in Ottawa. How do you see our PM handling it? He has to do something and quick!
    Xo Julie

  • Herb Craig

    December 14, 2021 |

    As always awesome job Harold. It seems whatever you do in life the end result is always the same professional, accurate, inclusive and entertaining. You have always been a class act and a great fellow policeman to work with. We had some awesome times together my friend. I will always hold you close as a true friend. Keep up the good work. Hope to see you this summer.
    Warm regards
    Herb Craig

  • Harold McNeill

    November 26, 2021 |

    Hi Dorthy, So glad you found those stories and, yes, they hold many fond memories. Thanks to social media and the blog, I’ve been able to get in touch with many friends from back in the day. Cheers, Harold

  • Harold McNeill

    November 26, 2021 |

    Well, well. Pleased to see your name pop up. I’m in regular contact via FB with many ‘kids’ from back in our HS days (Guy, Dawna, Shirley and others). Also, a lot of Cold Lake friends through FB. Cheers, Harold

  • Harold McNeill

    November 26, 2021 |

    Oh, that is many years back and glad you found the story. I don’t have any recall of others in my class other than the Murphy sisters on whose farm my Dad and Mom worked.

  • Harold McNeill

    November 26, 2021 |

    Pleased to hear from you Howie and trust all is going well. As with you, I have a couple of sad stories of times in my police career when I crossed paths with Ross Barrington Elworthy. Just haven’t had the time to write those stories.